'What screams spouse material?': Women reveal all the green flags for marriage that made them wife up or want to make them get married

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  • 01
    Joint - 70 Posted by u/Ok-Bug4885 9 hours ago What screams spouse material?
  • 02
    Font - uterustryingtokillme 9 hr. ago Good communication and conflict resolution skills. The ability to work through a disagreement calmly and rationally. Sees problems as "us vs the problem" not "me vs you."
  • 03
    Font - Not-A-SoggyBagel · 7 hr. ago These traits were totally green flags. They are why I married my partner. We never argue or fight. We discuss the problem at hand and work at it together. Other green flags are they don't rely on me for a complete inventory of our home and aren't helpless when it comes to organizing, cleaning, planning and booking. We are equals.
  • 04
    Font - Far-Brother3882 - 4 hr. ago Yep! We have calm and rational discussions to resolve. We had parents with terrible track records and learned really quickly as children what NOT to do and have worked diligently in our marriage to not repeat history. We had been married about 24, 25 years and a terrible and unexpected loss of a family member caused me to join a grief group. After a few weeks of attending I said something about how crazy I was about my husband and a woman a little older than I
  • 05
    Font - When I told her how long I'd been married she was flat out shocked. The sad part? EVERY person said they thought I was a newlywed/2nd wife and couldn't believe how long we were married AND that I liked him! The entire group went off the grief rails the rest of our session that night. It made me extra happy for me and truly sad for an entire room of adults, men and women, who had clearly been existing in unhappy unions.
  • 06
    Font - randigtiger 45 min. ago So much this. Me and my husband has never had a fight in 9 years. We discuss, work together and always try to prioritize the other one before ourselves.
  • 07
    Font - Not-A-SoggyBagel 6 min. ago Yeah this is what we do too! We put the other one first knowing they have our back so we put them first. It creates this real even push and pull. We had a marriage check in once a week when we first got married. Writing our relationship worries and concerns down for discussion. That lasted 3ish years until it became a monthly check-in. Now a decade in and it's just a tight squeeze and an embrace. There's nothing really else to say.
  • 08
    Font - mwaaahfunny 6 hr. ago I would add to this the desire to constantly work on yourself to make yourself and the relationship better. Everyone needs polish.
  • 09
    Font - Not-A-SoggyBagel 5 hr. ago Yes this. The internal and motivated drive towards self improvement. I myself try to be better than who I was yesterday, I expect the same ambition from my partner. Also encouraging support to keep moving forward. There's a big difference between negging at someone to be better vs being a cheerleader and offering support. We pull and drive each other forward, push each other to be stronger tomorrow.
  • 10
    Font - mwaaahfunny. 4 hr. ago Im on your side with this. Personally it is never easy to hear you're not perfect. So now we add another green flag-the ability to assess and manage and allay your partners defense mechanisms. Sure! Relationships are easy! Lol
  • 11
    Font - Jeanetica 5 hr. ago Yes! Being able to reach a resolution without a fight, and you actually feel better after bringing things up is a wonderful feeling.
  • 12
    Font - sew1tseams 6 hr. ago Yes and this comes with taking accountability for their part in things and clear communication on what might be bothering them on your part (action focused rather than blaming or jumping to worst-case conclusions)
  • 13
    Font - Aggravating_Age_3129 5 hr. ago This one wins All relationships will have challenges. It's snuggling up after that is the test. What are you willing look past. Everyone has issues. We tend to relax and engage with those that embrace our situations and quirks
  • 14
    Font - Kung-ru456 4 hr. ago Iv been mulling over a failed relationship. This put alot of things in perspective thank you
  • 15
    Font - Aeriessy 2 hr. ago The last part is imperative. That applies to friendships too. I've had to drop a couple close friendships because of that kind of mentality, the "me vs. you". Where it became, "I'm hurt because you did this." "Well every- excuse-under-the-sun-to-justify-why- they-were-right." It's even more exhausting in romantic relationships.
  • 16
    Font - Unhappy_Nothing_5882- 3 hr. ago Just celebrated 19th anniversary and can confirm Unless disagreements become calm, polite, roundtable discussions, you will eventually have one that will break you up
  • 17
    Font - unicornwantsweed 4 hr. ago Yes!! I knew my hubby was a keeper when he cancelled a date with me because his daughter had a dance recital that day and his ex didn't tell him until the morning of. Plus he's always confused when I tell him someone is hitting on him. He really just doesn't see it.
  • 18
    Human body - GreenBell6729. 9 hr. ago Someone who will have your back when things are difficult for you.
  • 19
    Font - hammayolettuce 8 hr. ago Respecting and caring about my thoughts and feelings more than they care about impressing their male friends.
  • 20
    Font - niatyre 7 hr. ago Good banter, excellent communication, ain't afraid to say what's on his mind, won't be trying to play "macho man" if I wanna pay the food bill, sexual chemistry and is my best friend
  • 21
    Font - dogflesh 7 hr. ago Being able to admit when you're wrong, picking your battles, but most importantly (to me); being able to open up about insecurities (not necessarily physical) to the other partner. It makes the partner feel dependable, trusted, and reinforces that the couple is in this together instead of being adversaries or competitors
  • 22
    Font - Justatroubledgirl. 7 hr. ago Assertive, time to time chivalrous. Kind but not a doormat. Open minded. Willing to communicate, listen and improve. Does not judge nor shame anyone for their circumstances. Is reliable, and is a teammate instead of an 'alpha'. Well.. I think i just created a man too good to be true lol
  • 23
    Font - StoicSinicCynic. 5 hr. ago Someone who's dependable and responsible, who puts in effort into running the household and is attentive to their loved ones' needs and tries their best to take care of their loved ones without needing to have it pointed out to them or being nagged to do things. Basically a level of maturity, empathy and holding oneself accountable.

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